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why does being in love hurt so much ?

topic posted Tue, October 9, 2007 - 12:27 AM by  .
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i mean like while it is going, it hurts in a way since you never know if you are doing all you can to keep your partner happy . I try good communication. It usually works. But why the hurt part ? What causes it ? Does anyone else ever feel this ? I only feel it after the first three months. then it stops after we're into the 10th month. Am I weird ? haha seriously though.
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  • Re: why does being in love hurt so much ?

    Tue, October 9, 2007 - 11:24 AM
    This is just me but I think it's do to the Human experience and the leading with our hearts. While in a releationship or sometimes not even in one but if your a sensitive caring person then you tend to feel the hurt more. the wanting , needing etc is all wrapped up in the emotions and you want it so bad that it causes pain. As time goes on your more confident and reasurred of the others intent and thus the pain decreases. again this is just what I think!
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    Re: why does being in love hurt so much ?

    Tue, October 9, 2007 - 12:45 PM
    "Why does being in love hurt so much?"

    Being "In Love" doesn't hurt at all. The only thing that creates the pain is fear of rejection, fear of loss, fear of not being good enough, etc., etc. - and all self-created due to lack of self worth.
  • Re: why does being in love hurt so much ?

    Wed, December 12, 2007 - 7:46 PM
    I hear you on this. I've fallen in love with a bi friend of mine who does not feel the same way for me. He just wants to be friends, I want to be sexual. It makes it hard to just hang out with him because I long for him so hard.

    I'm not sure what to do about it. It hurts.
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      Re: why does being in love hurt so much ?

      Sat, December 15, 2007 - 6:26 PM
      That's kind of what I mean. The love part doesn't hurt at all - it's the withholding of love and keeping it in check that hurts. Want something more tangible? It's like a fart - hold it in and it's painful, let it out and it feels like a great release, because that is the way the body was designed to function. Holding love back is against our natural design - it is a false societal construct - so holding it in is painful. The love itself is not painful.
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    Re: why does being in love hurt so much ?

    Sun, December 16, 2007 - 2:17 PM
    < why does being in love hurt so much >

    It does have the potential to hurt deeply, because we've opened up our hearts so much and the pain could cut to the core.
    The good news is, the joy can run just as deep.
    • Re: why does being in love hurt so much ?

      Sun, December 16, 2007 - 5:13 PM
      Am I high or did someone just compare love to a fart? Gives new meaning to the song Love Stinks!

      What sux is when you are in love but it's not returned. Oh, there's love, but not on the same plane. That hurts so badly.
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        Re: why does being in love hurt so much ?

        Sat, December 22, 2007 - 7:44 PM
        Or when you are both using the same word, but to each of you it means something different. When you say it you are thinking one thing, but when the receiver hears it they are thinking what their definition is. Sometimes just sitting down and talking it out and describing with some level of detail what your expectations/values/etc. are when you define the word, is necessary. Otherwise, the words might not match the deeds and there's confusion and yes, hurt.
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    Re: why does being in love hurt so much ?

    Sun, December 23, 2007 - 1:12 AM
    "being in love" What does this really mean? Real love will sound foreign to us if we judge love by a feeling that comes and goes dependent upon our fancy of the moment or whether we hear it back from another person.

    Real love is loving oneself and recognizing that everyone is part of you. There is only love and it isn't the kind of love that intensify's or dies out. It is eternal and real. If you think love is something you can gain or lose then you haven't understood love at all. Love hurts because you don't love yourself enough and you don' t really know who you are yet.

    There is only love and everything else is an illusion you have created in the natural thinking mind.

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