Isn't everybody bi?

Oh woops! Thanks for the correction. :)

I also wouldn't say that "everyone is bi" simply because everyone's not and I think that if everyone were bi or labels didn't matter, or labels weren't seen as political tools being bi or queer wouldn't be such a big deal or controversial.

I do have lots of gay friends and while a few of them have had sex with women they only had sex with one woman and they knew that it wasn't for them and said how they had to think about men constantly in order to get aroused, stay hard, and finish.

The rest of my gay friends have had absolutely no desire to be with a woman because they're not sexually attracted to women. A few of my gay friends have said how they've met women who if they were heterosexual they'd want a loving relationship with but they're gay and not into women.

I also have heterosexual friends who don't want to be with the same gender at all.

I do think that as time goes by though that more people will either come out as bisexual or say that they're "open minded" even if they appear heterosexual or homosexual.

Like Billy said about lesbians who call themselves bi, I know men who are really bi but call themselves gay mainly because of the way that some gay people think that bisexuality doesn't exist and both of my bi friends who call themselves "gay" have been together for a decade. They told me how they tell gay people that they're "gay" and heterosexual people that they're bi since heterosexual people seem to understand bisexuality better in their opinion.

I agree with Patrick but while people can fall in love with the same/opposite gender, or anything in between, that doesn't mean that they want to get sexual with those genders or that they'd be bisexual.

I have gay friends who aren't sexual with women at all and don't fall in love with them, however they'll become good friends with some women.

While some of my gay friends have never been sexual with a woman and never will they told me how they met women who if they were heterosexual or bisexual, and not homosexual they'd be soulmates with or possibly get married to.

One of my gay friends is curious as to what sex with a woman is like but he knows he probably won't do it and it's not something he'd actively seek out.

Some have told me things like well yeah I have been sexually attracted to maybe 1-3 women in my life which was surprising at the time, but I never acted on it or I did have a very rare sex dream about a woman but I'm A LOT more into men sexually and romantically. Or some talked about how when they were having sex with women how this was during a period in their life when they were closeted or ashamed about being gay and were forcing themselves to have sex with a woman/women because they thought that it would make them heterosexual.

Some of my gay friends told me how the only women they would get crushes on turned out to be lesbian. Or one jokes, "oh I'll get the rare crush on a woman but things wouldn't work out between us since I'm a big homo".

I also know some bisexual men who will get VERY sexual with men and do unsafe sex practises like barebacking (unprotected anal intercourse) or swallowing but they flat out REFUSE to kiss a man or cuddle with a man during/after sex. I think that a lot of this has to do with fear of being intimate with a man or a person of the same gender or fear of romantic attraction to a person of the same gender. I may get people mad at me for this (as I have on other sites when this topic comes up) but I think that these men are very homophobic.

What you said didn't make me squirm in my seat and I do agree with a lot of it, especially about how many people are programmed by society or into certain molds/boxes that they think that they have to fit into.

I love the Jungian theory you brought up. Cheers to you! :-0

That's not entirely true either. My self-identifying as bisexual does not necessitate any sort of declaration of intent on my part to socialize with other bisexual people. I could just as easily go have cheap sex with gay men & straight women whom I have no social interaction with and then run off and socialize strictly with under-aged Pokemon fans. It might seem pretty wierd (and indeed it's likely people would think nasty thoughts about my propensity for hanging out with little kids), but that wouldn't make someone else's assumptions about my use of the word or my social behavior) any more true. The use of a descriptive term like "bisexual" in a conversation isn't any more a declaration of any kind of political affiliation on my part than use of the term "programmer". It's convenient to get my point across in conversation -- if another person makes assumptions and doesn't bother to take the time to understand me as a person, that's not my artifact, it's theirs. And you see that sort of thing even here in the "love without labels" tribe... well... "love" is a label and "label" is a label... so it might have been "love without the need to pidgeonhole people", but that's not nearly as catchy. :) There does automatically become this political affiliation (as you've noted) of anti-label people, yet my own interest in "love without labels" isn't about obliterating language (as the political party seems intent on doing) but rather about encouraging more sensitive interpretation of the language. So I'm neither affiliated with the anti-label political label either. :)

>But I do have a question for you. All things being equal and you had to choose would you want to spend your life with your ideal man or your ideal woman?<

I'm not sure who I'll end up with.
I've been told that I'm very monogamous and into fidelity and I seek people out who are the same no matter what their gender is.